Kathie Lee Gifford is coming to South Park. If they're working in a sweatshop, that is.Īfter I'm on television, I'm gonna be totally famous. Yes, and we can even have the children of South Park put on a little play. Then we should have the chef of the school cafeteria sing a song and play up the ethnic diversity of our town. Mayor, we should decorate the town square. Yes, if I can show just how much I've turned South Park around, I could become a senator. This is our chance to make a name for ourselves, to show that we're not some pissant, white-bread mountain town.īetter yet, it's a chance for you to get some publicity. It says here that Eric's trophy will be presented to him by.Īnd the presentation will be on national television. If they're so damn smart, how come they get caught in those fishing nets all the time? Well, you see, you shouldn't have written a paper about dolphins.ĭude, dolphins are, like, the second-smartest animal on the planet. My paper was on the suffering of bottle-nosed dolphins. He doesn't even know what he wrote about. Out of over a million papers, Eric's was chosen as the grand prize winner. Eric Cartman.Ĭongratulations, Eric, on writing the award-winning paper.Ĭartman doesn't know a rain forest from a Pop-Tart. The winner of the national Save Our Fragile Planet contest is. One of our very own South Park students has won the national prize. And bites the inside of your ass? Nothing.Ĭhildren, children, remember the Save Our Fragile Planet essay contest that you children worked so hard on last month? Rainbows are those arches of color that show up during a rainstorm. Well, you know, you'll just be sitting there minding your own business, and they'll come marching in and crawl up your leg and start biting the inside of your ass.Īnd you'll be all like, "Hey, get out of my ass, you stupid rainbows."Ĭartman, what the hell are you talking about? Yeah, what's there to hate about rainbows? Hey, Stan, did you see that rainbow this morning? So now sit back, relax, and enjoy "Weight Gain 4000." We enjoy soda pop, baseball, and beating up old people just as much as anybody. You know, everyone thinks that in order to do "South Park" we must be wild, crazy rock 'n roll stars, but the truth is, we're just wholesome middle-American guys. How does someone create a show like "South Park" and remain as pure and wholesome as you both appear to be? Well, Kenny is definitely our favorite character.Īnd even though he is our favorite character, we feel we have to kill him in every episode, and this one of our favorite deaths in this one. Guys, why do you keep killing off poor Kenny? I would never kill somebody, unless they pissed me off. Guns and bullets seem to be a recurring theme in "South Park." Well, we don't really care, because Kathie Lee Gifford is a.īoth Trey and I really, really respect her work with Regis. Has Kathie Lee Gifford ever offended you in some fashion? That makes him almost as heavy as Sally Struthers. Well, after Eric Cartman starts eating the Weight Gain 4000, he gains 700 pounds. It's all about Kathie Lee Gifford coming to "South Park" and Eric Cartman trying to beef himself up for the big day.Įxactly how much weight does Eric Cartman gain in this episode? This episode of "South Park" is called "Weight Gain 4000," and it's by far our favorite episode. And now a fireside chat with the creators of Comedy Central's "South Park," Matt Stone and Trey Parker. Garrison hatches a plan to murder the visiting celeb. Cartman tries to slim down when he learns a TV talk-show host is coming to town to give him an award, but he bulks up instead.
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